What I mean when I say “I can’t do that”- Anxiety Version:

  • I am unable to do that
  • I am too stressed out to do that
  • I cannot face the humiliation of attempting to do that
  • My body will physically not allow me to do that
  • I am on the verge of a panic attack
  • I cannot do that

What people hear:

  • I am unwilling to do that
  • I am just shy
  • I am overreacting
  • I am lazy
  • I need to get more experience in social situation to help my anxiety
  • I need a push
  • I don’t want to do that

Inspired by X

tagged → #anxiety




A few months ago I was playing World of Warcraft — as is my wont — and was mindlessly listing gemstones in the auction house. Though I usually try to ignore the in-game chat channels, I couldn’t help but notice one shaman asking for help with his gear. Now, if you’ve ever been on the internet before, you may know that asking even reasonable questions to a group of anonymous people will likely result in some or all of the following: insults, incorrect answers, deliberately false answers, and more insults. The shaman was asking what sort of gear he needed to play his character with a particular specialization (shaman can be either healers or they can deal damage via melee attacks or spellcasting). His questions weren’t being answered and people were mocking his spelling. The shaman apologized, saying he was a 79 year old man and didn’t type very well. The people in the chat channel then mocked him for this.

I looked up the shaman’s gear and found he was wearing a hodgepodge of items that weren’t itemized very well for his intended role (a melee damage-dealer). I bought him several pieces of gear off the auction house and mailed it to his character along with a note with a few tips. I also told him if he ever had any questions, he could ask me at any time.

I got an in-game mail back from him later that day. He said that it’s hard for him to play this game since the younger players don’t have patience for him. He never learned to type in school and his reflexes were slower. “I went through Korea and Vietnam and they were good enough then to keep me alive,” he wrote. He thanked me for helping him and for changing his mind about his fellow players.

Now, whenever I get frustrated with a player who isn’t playing well, I just imagine that the character is being played by my own Korean war veteran grandfather, who will be 83 this summer. I keep checking back on my little shaman friend. He only has two more levels before he hits the level-cap. I think I’ll buy him a present for when he does.

My father is a 70 year old Vietnam War veteran and he has played World of Warcraft with his slightly younger wife for much longer than I ever did.  Growing up with a war vet as a parent makes you acutely attuned to their PTSD symptoms, stress levels, and ability to handle their surroundings and daily life, as well as their ability to cope with the demands of their children.  I can tell you with no hyperbole that playing video games—first person shooters, MMOs and everything else—has given my father, by his own admission, an astonishing tool for self-therapy, stress management, and the easing of painful memories in the context of “play”.  He is likewise slower at typing, and more easily distracted by the eerie beauty of the environmental art (which the rest of us are already spoiled to!), and in general approaches video games slightly differently than people in their 20s.  

Laying aside the other thousand good arguments for accessibility in games wrt all people with disabilities (I can’t speak for them because I am able-bodied), consider the medicinal benefits of video games to people with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and to the elderly, who have a far far better chance fighting off Alzheimer’s and dementia with the proper brain stimulus.  Video games can provide that, and do.

"You’ve become so damaged that when someone tries to give you what you deserve, you have no fucking idea how to respond."

(via cesttoujourslamemehistoire)

I had to sit and stare at this for a while when I first saw it because it completely threw me off how accurate it is to my life. It pretty much sums up what I’ve tried to put into words numerous times. I’m kinda blown away by it actually.

(via sloanfuckingsabbith)

tagged → #abuse
"Honestly, it’s quite astonishing how much misery this movie manages to pack into two hours of mostly action sequences and espionage subplots, particularly since Captain America is supposedly one of the “lighter” superheroes, compared to the unending grimdarkness of Batman. I guess this is the difference between “manpain” and “a man in legitimate emotional pain.”"

The Tragedy of Bucky Barnes

this was just maybe flat out my favorite part of this review because hi, true

(via defcontwo)

tagged → #captain america


History Meme || {1/9} Kings or Queens
N E F E R N E F E R U A T E N  N E F E R T I T I ●

Nefertiti ruled alongside Akhenaten during the eighteenth dynasty. She lived in Tell El Amarna, a city constructed by the pharaoh to worship their god Aten. There, they safeguarded their family and their beliefs—it became the center of Egypt’s new religion.

During her reign as queen, Egypt went about many radical religious changes. Hundreds of years of culture and worship had been exchanged for a new radical concept— Monotheism. The old gods had been disregarded, temples shut down, and priests forced to change their ways. Many historians believe this transition could have been hostile and was not adopted so easily by the citizens or priests. 

Her reign with Akhenaten was unlike the traditional ways Egypt had seen. She was more than just a typical queen and helped to promote Akhenaten’s views. Her reign was only 12 years, but she was perhaps one of the most powerful queens to ever rule. 

Nefertiti is also known for her elegant beauty. Her bust has been an icon for many women and for many modern cosmetic lines. Many societies around the world have adopted the queen as a symbol of true beauty. 

tagged → #history

I’m the most horrible person in the world


I’m the most horrible person in the world

"You don’t know the first thing about sacrifice!”

tagged → #hecka #fma:b



Photos by Kilian Schönberger


tagged → #oooh #fashion

[Artist: Macie Kuciara]
(Follow her on tumblr!)


[Artist: Macie Kuciara]

(Follow her on tumblr!)



my entire life in one tweet




my entire life in one tweet


tagged → #writing

Fashion Wonderland: Tony Ward f/w 2013-2014



OKAY HI so today at MTAC I lost a white, Aperture Science themed wallet in the dealers room and it was not found yet. I can not attend Sunday so if you would keep your eye out for me and take it to the staff that would be AMAZING. Thank you so much for reading this !!!

tagged → #signal boost
A conversation with my British boyfriend
  • Me: Here, I didn't get my currency exchanged so here is some American money.
  • Connor: Oooh!
  • Me: These are state quarters - here's an Oregon, this one's an Idaho, and this is South Dakota.
  • Connor: Can you use them in the other states, too?
  • Me:
  • Connor:
  • Me:
  • Connor:
  • Me: Yes.
tagged → #hahahaha
tagged → #world of warcraft